Every day, Sandra Fritsch, MD, a Children’s Hospital Colorado child and adolescent psychiatrist, hears stories from kids about the ways in which smartphones impact their lives. Sometimes the things they say are positive, but often, they are stories of anxiety, deception and struggles. 

Still, smartphones have become a routine part of life for kids and adults alike, so it’s important for parents to feel confident sending their children out into the digital world. 

Dr. Fritsch shares her advice for helping kids of all ages safely use their smartphones at school, at home and in between. 

When are kids ready for a cellphone?

According to Common Sense Media, the average age at which kids get cellphones is around 11, but there is no magic age that works best. For some families, making sure everyone can get in touch easily is vitally important, while for others, it’s a less significant concern. Things like whether or not your child is neurodiverse may also impact your decision. If your child needs a way to call you, but you are worried about their age or the impact of having a phone, there are a few other options. 

Instead of getting your child a smartphone, you could purchase a phone that only allows texting and calling. There are also some devices that give parents and caregivers the option of restricting calls from anyone except those with trusted numbers. 

If you are considering a smartphone for your kid, Dr. Fritsch recommends taking some time to observe the way your child uses other devices, such as tablets and laptops. 

“Most kids already have access to digital technology, either through iPads or laptops, and things like that,” she says. “Assess what's going on in that landscape and their ability to do things without technology. When they’re being told it's time to put away their devices, it’s a good sign if they do that with no protest and no difficulties.”

What kind of rules should I have about smartphone use at home?

According to Dr. Fritsch, more and more research is building evidence that using a smartphone can feel and act like an addiction. She has more commonly seen patients asking for help controlling their smartphone usage and difficulties stopping what she calls “passive screen time.” During passive screen time, your teen might be mindlessly scrolling through TikTok or watching YouTube videos endlessly. In contrast, active screen time might be time spent learning skills, reading, doing something creative or video chatting with a friend to avoid loneliness. 

Dr. Fritsch’s own research has shown that passive screen time is associated with a higher likelihood of anxiety disorders and poor sleep, which can create an unhealthy cycle. To help your child lower their passive screen time, Dr. Fritsch recommends creating a family media plan. Organizations like Common Sense Media, have some templates to help guide you in this. Ensuring restful, quality sleep can be a challenge if screens are in the same room you sleep in. Consider leaving cellphones and digital technology in a different room to help kids (and you) get truly restorative sleep. Family media plans give families the opportunity to set expectations for smartphone use and social media safety together. Ideally, everyone in the family makes the same commitment, giving parents and caregivers the opportunity to lead by example. 

Some rules or guidelines you might set for the household could be charging your phones in another room while you sleep to minimize phone use in bed, maintaining hobbies outside of smartphone use, or even agreeing not to bully others online. 

Dr. Fritsch also recommends setting family screen-time limits, scheduling outdoor family activities and working with your child’s pediatrician or care team to help you talk to your kids about social media use. They can help by asking important questions about media use that your child or tween might be uncomfortable discussing with parents or caregivers. 

What is the role of phones in schools?

In 2025, Colorado passed a bill that ensures schools create and enforce policies related to smartphone usage in schools. Dr. Fritsch says this is an important investment in youth mental health because it can have a dramatic impact on cyberbullying, a form of online harassment. Studies have shown that cyberbullying most frequently happens during school hours. In other instances where cellphone use has been limited in schools, cyberbullying rates dropped 60%. This type of harassment can have a major impact on mental health, so stopping it plays a big role in helping kids who are living with depression or anxiety. 

Additionally, phones can distract from learning, relationship building and physical play. Dr. Fritsch says that in schools with existing restrictions on phone use, teachers and kids report significantly better experiences.  

How can I help my child use their smartphone in a positive way?

Much of what parents and caregivers hear about smartphones and social media are the many ways they negatively impact kids and their mental health. But Dr. Fritsch says that digital flourishing is a real possibility for kids who can form a healthy relationship with their smartphones. Many apps allow kids to practice social skills, learn and engage their minds in a positive way. 

“How can you create digital flourishing?” Dr. Fritsch asks. “Parental involvement in youth digital life is really important, because cellphones aren't going away. So, we need interventions aimed at assisting tweens and teens in having control over digital communication, but also parents need to take an active role in the digital communication.”

For Dr. Fritsch, that means honoring the positives of smartphones, while creating strategies for the negatives, often with the input of kids. The best strategy for this, she says, is creating opportunities to engage and bond outside of the digital world or for kids to have a “digital detox.” That way, when kids face the inevitable challenges of having a smart device, they know who to turn to for help, and have things outside of their phones that bring them joy. 

It also means that parents should rely on kids to learn about the evolution of smartphone capabilities and social media. The landscape is always changing, and tapping into your child’s knowledge can help you feel more prepared and informed. Stay curious and remember to meet kids with care and compassion, no matter your parenting style. 

“You can be the best parent in the world, and still kids are innovating at a level that is beyond our understanding,” Dr. Fritsch says. “Part of being a teenager is learning how you can separate from your parents but have the safety net when you fall down to come back and be supported.”