For many kids, bedtime brings more than just yawns and pajamas — it can also bring some fear. One of the most common nighttime fears is a fear of the dark. While it may lead to sleepless nights for parents, our experts say it’s a normal part of growing up — and there are healthy ways to help your child work through it.

Why kids fear the dark and how it shows

A fear of the dark falls under the category of nighttime fears. These fears often show up around bedtime and are especially common in young children. In fact, nearly 75% of children ages 4 to 12 report having nighttime fears — and fear of the dark, sometimes called nyctophobia, is one of the most common. So, what causes it?

Kids pick up a lot from the world around them. “When you ask kids what’s scary about the dark, they often point to things they’ve seen on TV, online or even the news,” says Benjamin Mullin, PhD, clinical child and adolescent psychologist at Children’s Hospital Colorado. “Scary things tend to happen in dark settings in TV shows, movies or even in their imaginations, and that can stick with them.”

Other times, children may see someone else afraid of the dark and learn that behavior without realizing it. This fear can also become more intense during times of stress, such as after moving to a new house or starting at a new school. “If a child is already feeling anxious, that fear can show up at bedtime,” Dr. Mullin says.

Although this fear is very common in children, it can cause disruptions to sleep and bedtime routines. Fear of the dark often results in kids resisting bedtime or stalling for the lights to go out. This could be tantrums or refusals to get into bed at night. It could also mean requesting extra comfort throughout the night or asking parents to co-sleep. Some kids can have extreme reactions like screaming when the lights are turned off. 

These signs of fear can cause a lot of struggles to get your child to fall asleep or keep up with normal bedtimes. It can certainly create some problems with your own nightly routine, as well. But there are some ways to minimize fear and help your child build the confidence to face the dark.

Tips to help kids who fear the dark

Use imagination to conquer fear

One of the best ways to support your child is to use their imagination in a helpful way. Often times, kids’ imaginations can blow fear out of proportion, but it can also be used to minimize fears. “Parents and caregivers can actually use imagination as a tool to manage fear,” Dr. Mullin says. “It makes kids feel more in control and confident.”

Dr. Mullin offers a few suggestions on how to engage your child’s imagination:

• Create an “anti-monster” letter: Help your child write a “contract” with their imaginary monster. They can even create rules for the monster — like it is only allowed to come on Thursdays and must stay quiet under the bed.
• Make the dark fun: Remind your child that a lot of fun activities can happen in the dark. Books like “Uncle Lightfoot, Flip That Switch,” include fun activities that help kids feel braver about the dark. “Making it playful is a key part of helping,” Dr. Mullin says.
• Practice exposures during the day: Practice being in dark spaces with your child for short periods — such as just 30 seconds — during the day. Reward your child’s bravery. This helps them build confidence, and over time, they will feel more in control.

Create a consistent routine

A calm and consistent bedtime routine can make a big difference. That might include dimming the lights more as it reaches your child’s bedtime, reading a comforting book or choosing a favorite stuffed animal for them to cuddle with. Just don’t overdo the lights. According to Dr. Mullin, some parents think installing multiple nightlights or leaving the lights on all night will help, but kids need a dark environment to get adequate sleep and become developmentally strong. Try to stick with one dim night light, if anything.

Dr. Mullin also recommends avoiding the urge to talk about your child’s nighttime fears right before bed. Instead, have that conversation earlier in the day when things are calmer. That’s a better time to talk about a plan for bedtime and what might help your kid fall asleep.

Validate your child’s nighttime fears

If your child tells you they’re scared, try to first validate their feelings, and then show confidence in their ability to handle it. “You can say something like, ‘I know the dark feels scary sometimes, but I also know that you can do this,’” Dr. Mullin explains.

This can be especially difficult in the middle of the night when you’re feeling worn out and exhausted. As tempting as it may be to allow your child to climb into your bed and co-sleep when they are afraid, Dr. Mullin says that doing so may actually worsen their fear over time and make it harder for them to fall asleep on their own.

Dr. Mullin explains that when parents respond this way, it can send the message — even without you meaning to — that you don’t think your child can handle the fear on their own. Instead, he suggests that you gently guide your child back to bed if they wake up throughout the night. Offer calm, confident support to make them feel safe and in control.

“When you show confidence in your child’s ability to handle fear, they start to believe it too,” Dr. Mullin says.

When to get help: How long should a kid fear the dark?

Fear of the dark — or nyctophobia — is usually just a phase. But if it’s handled in ways that create too much dependence, such as consistent co-sleeping, it can lead to long-term sleep habits that are harder to break. This can create a lot of issues for kids, such as losing the fun of sleeping over at a friend’s house or going to summer camp. Plus, sleep is an important factor in development. But Dr. Mullin explains that if you support your child early on and give them a sense of confidence, those fears usually fade with time.

This fear can become a more serious concern if it starts disrupting the household and consistently keeps you and your child from sleeping regularly. Kids with more intense nighttime fears may begin avoiding bedtime or become more defiant at night. This might cause parents and caregivers to feel stuck. If your child’s fear leads to constant sleep loss or extreme anxiety around bedtime, it may be time to talk with your pediatrician or mental health expert for some specific strategies.

The fear usually comes up once kids start to have a sense of imagination and learn more about the world around them. This phase can last anywhere from a few weeks to months. It’s important to build your child’s confidence through this time so that they can return to normal sleep cycles and have the tools to face fears.

Remember: The goal isn’t to get rid of the dark — it’s to help your child feel brave enough to face it, one small step at a time.