Getting your child ready for kindergarten is an exciting milestone, but navigating all the logistics leading up to the big transition can feel overwhelming. Since Colorado is a school of choice state, caregivers have the flexibility to choose where their child will attend — even if it’s not your neighborhood school or in your home district. With this flexibility comes organizing school tours, weighing what’s best for your family and marking your calendar to apply during the district’s open enrollment period.

Children’s Hospital Colorado’s early-childhood psychologist Julia Palozzi, PsyD, helps guide families through these types of big transitions, along with other mental health needs during a child’s early years. She shares things to consider as your family embarks on this next chapter.

How do I know if my child is ready for kindergarten?

Heading off to kindergarten is a big step for preschoolers, especially when it’s in a new environment with more structure and more independent time. In Colorado, a child must turn 5 years old by October 1 to start kindergarten that school year. However, parents may have an option to delay for a year. Dr. Palozzi shares some questions caregivers can ask themselves when trying to determine whether your child is ready:

• How will my child respond to more structure in their day?
• How does my child respond to new or different environments?
• Does my child have the skills required for kindergarten like using the bathroom independently, listening to instructions and making it through the day without rest?
• Does my child have the ability to recover after having strong emotions?

“Our job as parents is not to move our child from discontented to contented as quickly as possible. Our job as parents is to spend time in emotional dysregulation with our children and send that message of, ‘I'm here with you and we can handle these big feelings together,’” says Dr. Palozzi.

Is it OK for my child to wait a year to start kindergarten?

If you feel your child isn’t quite ready to start kindergarten and they are eligible to delay their start, Dr. Palozzi says there is no harm in doing one extra year of preschool if that works for your family. This can give kids more time to get comfortable in more structured environments, practice peer interactions and focus on emotional regulation.

What should I consider when picking a school?

The main thing to consider when choosing a school is how well it meets your family’s overall needs. If your family is in a phase of life where driving 20 minutes to school drop-off and pickup is overwhelming, that should hold weight. “We don’t want to constantly be stretching caregivers and leaving caregivers completely depleted,” she says. If your family does have some flexibility, here are some things to consider when touring schools and making that decision:

Relationship building

Dr. Palozzi believes one of the most important considerations for your soon-to-be kindergartener’s new school is the focus on relationship building. What is the sense you get from the teachers and staff about their approach to relationships? Kids thrive with strong, stable and emotionally intimate relationships, and the school’s approach to relationship-building can greatly impact their experience.

Play-based curriculum

Dr. Palozzi says another important aspect is the school’s focus on a play-based curriculum. At this age, kids learn primarily through play. Ask the school to tell you how it incorporates play into its curriculum.

Class size

When considering class size, it’s important to understand how your child responds to environmental stimulation. Maybe your child can handle a lot of stimulation, so a larger class size might be an environment they can thrive in. If your child easily gets overstimulated or is neurodivergent, a smaller class size might help them cope better and focus.

Approach to consequences

Another area to ask about on a school tour is the school’s approach to consequence and how teachers support emotional regulation development. Dr. Palozzi says a lack of emotional regulation at this age can often be interpreted as bad behavior, and you want to make sure the school can help support this growth for your child. Consequences should not be punishing but should support kids in developing critical skills for success in the school environment and align with your parenting style.

How can I start preparing my child for kindergarten?

Preparing your child by talking about what to expect at kindergarten, implementing a steady goodbye routine and practicing new skills are just a few strategies you can use to get your kid ready for their first day. 

• Start talking about kindergarten: Caregivers can often be quick to tell kids what not to do, but Dr. Palozzi says to focus on what they are supposed to do. “This also gives kids the sense you believe in their ability to meet these expectations,” she says. “Let's talk about and think through ways that we can help them be successful rather than focusing on ways that they're not being successful.” For example, you might say something like this: “You and I will be in the car together. I will put the car in park and help you get out. You will meet Ms. Smith at the car and after we say goodbye, you will go into school with Ms. Smith! When you get into your classroom, it will be your job to hang up your coat. When we hang up our coats, we find our cubby and put our coat on the hook."

• Tour the school with your kid: Walk through the school with your child before they start. Many schools offer an open house where kids can meet teachers and explore the classroom before the first day. As the start of the school year approaches, you could make a visual chart for your child to help them count down the days. This helps kids who haven’t yet developed a concept of time.
• Establish a reliable goodbye routine: If your family doesn’t already have a set goodbye routine, now is the perfect time to form one. Every family’s routine might look different, and it should be based around your individual child’s sensitivity. The most important part of a routine is consistency. Even when it’s hard to say goodbye, your child learns over time that they can rely on you to say goodbye, and trust that you will come back. While the routine will look different for everyone (a hug, a kiss, a special phrase), it should be the same every time.
• Learn the expectations and start practicing: Find out what unsupported activities your child will be expected to do at school. This could include getting fully dressed, putting on their winter clothes for recess, locking the bathroom door behind them and more. Practice these tasks at home over the summer when there is no rush. Dr. Palozzi recommends practicing for 5 to 10 minutes at a time and keeping it playful and fun so it doesn’t become a power struggle.
• Practice your new morning routine: It can be helpful to practice what your new morning routine will look like and even practice a drop-off before school starts. If your child is having big emotions in the morning and seeking connection, build that into your routine. That could look like setting a timer for five minutes and talking about the day together before you head out.

What are some ways to help my child be emotionally ready for kindergarten?

Two of the most important ways to prepare your child emotionally for kindergarten are practicing emotional regulation and finding meaning through learning independence with family tasks.

• Sit with big feelings: This is Dr. Palozzi’s number one tip for teaching emotional regulation with your child. Take the time over the summer (or even earlier!) to get comfortable sitting with big feelings and teach your child to have the space to work through those feelings. Dr. Palozzi recommends using a reflection statement after a moment of dysregulation. For example, it could be something specific like, “You got really frustrated when your brother knocked your tower over” or something simple like, “You are having big feelings in your body." Then pause and allow them to reflect or respond if they’d like. She challenges caregivers to avoid providing a solution or distraction to teach your child how to regulate their own.
• Find meaningful ways to get your child involved in the family’s life: Start involving your child in the day-to-day tasks that make up your family’s day. Try having a stool in the kitchen with age-appropriate cutting tools so your child can chop some food while you’re cooking. Or try letting them switch the laundry from the washer to the dryer. Dr. Palozzi says the key is to let your child come and go freely during those tasks at this age, which helps grow intrinsic motivation. “This is one of the ways that we can build independence and resilience,” she explains. “That sets us up for so many positive things, and it shows children that they are important parts to a system.”

What can I expect the transition to look like once my child starts kindergarten?

It is perfectly normal for your child to have big feelings and reactions after school. This is a big change for them.

First, think about their basic needs and establish a routine to meet those needs. Maybe they are coming home from school very hungry, and they need to have a snack right after walking in the door. Maybe they are used to napping at home but can’t at school, so they come home very tired and you need to move up bedtime.

Second, what kind of environment do they need at the end of the day? Just like adults have certain rituals to wind down after a long day at work, kids can too. This will vary depending on your kid.

Learning what your child needs is called attunement. Supporting kids with situations as acute as winding down after school, to as large as picking a kindergarten, requires attunement to our children. This is the process of recognizing that they are an individual with their own needs, feelings and experiences. When we attune to our child, we put our own narratives aside and notice what do we get the sense that they are telling us they need. Do they want to talk after school, or do they want to listen to music? Dr. Palozzi says practices like these can help regulate the nervous system after a stimulating day.

When to seek more help: If your child is inconsolable after school and not easily soothed, and that happens consistently — not just one time — it is time to pull in trusted people from school. What are they seeing from your child? What extra support might your child need at school?

How can I prepare myself for my kid’s transition to kindergarten?

Dr. Palozzi doesn’t want you to forget yourself in the midst of this big family transition. Parents and children’s mental health is intertwined. Her advice is to make sure you have a community of people who can support you. So, while you are a safe, sturdy leader for your children, you have a safe place to regulate and process your emotions. This can also look like centering time for yourself and setting healthy boundaries as well as building your community.

What if my child has a health condition and needs extra support?

If your child has a health condition that needs extra support at school, here are some things to consider. Some of the common conditions that require extra support are asthma, Type 1 diabetes, severe food allergies and seizure disorders. Sara Kihn, MS, RN, is an Associate Clinical Manager in Children’s Colorado’s School Health Program, where our team helps kids and families get the medical care they need at school. Here are some ways you can approach this conversation:

• If you already know your child has a medical condition, Kihn encourages you to reach out to your child’s school before they start to begin the conversation and advocate for your child. Public schools often collaborate with a school health team who will take over the case and help create a health plan.
• When you are registering your child for kindergarten, there is usually a health questionnaire you fill out. The school will flag if a child might need a health plan based on those answers and reach out to you to start the process.

One thing to consider when picking a school is the resources available for your child’s extra needs. Public schools are required by federal law to provide special education support if a student qualifies.

Another consideration is the immunization rates in your area, which is important if your child is immunocompromised. You can look at the tracker on the state of Colorado’s website for more information.

"It’s so important for parents to explore what options are out there and which is going to potentially be the best fit for their child, especially if they have special health care needs,” says Kihn.

What is an individualized health plan (IHP)?

The individualized health plan is created for any student that has a condition that could impact them during the school day. The school nurse works closely with the family, the health care provider and the school to develop the plan. This could include a medication plan or a procedure plan for situations like G-tube feeding, for example. Kihn and her colleagues train school personnel on how to manage that plan throughout the school year, so kids can get the medical support they need.