Learning that your baby may need time in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) can be a lot to take in — especially when there isn’t much time to prepare. Once you find out your baby may be in the NICU for an extended stay, it’s natural for your focus to go straight to them. While caring for your child is important, your well-being, and your family’s, matter too.

A long NICU stay can bring weeks or months of uncertainty, new routines and big emotions. A little logistical and emotional preparation can help you navigate this transition period. NICU nurse and chair of the Patient Family Experience Committee in the NICU Anna Scorsone, MS, BSN, RNC-NIC, RDN shares some tips.

Bonding with your baby

Your baby likely will need a lot of care when they first get to the NICU, which can be overwhelming. Your neonatal care teams are there to walk with you through every step of the process. It’s helpful at first to focus on what is in your control: bonding with your new baby.

Depending on your baby’s condition, there may be limits on what you can help with. Your care team will guide you on how you can get to know your baby — even under tough circumstances.

Here are some ways to bond with your baby in the NICU:

• Hold your baby’s hand or place your hand on their head.
• Talk to your baby in a soothing, calm voice. You can read them stories or sing a lullaby.
• Participate in your baby’s care times by doing things like changing your baby’s diaper or checking their temperature. As your baby starts to make progress, you will be able to do more aspects of their care like bathing and
• Place a scent cloth, a small piece of cloth you wear on your skin to carry your scent, near your baby’s head to help them feel close to you.
• Rub lotion on your baby’s feet and legs and provide a gentle massage.
• When possible, hold your baby including skin-to-skin bonding.

Learn how to get involved in your baby’s care

When your baby is in the NICU, you are a key partner in your baby’s care. This can sometimes be intimidating when they’re so small and fragile. You might not be able to care for them when they’re first born or if they have a serious illness.

As the opportunities arise, your nurses will help you get more involved in the care tasks and make sure you feel comfortable. Providing basic care will help you as you transition back home. In the NICU, you can help with:

• Holding and comforting your baby
• Feeding
• Bathing
• Giving certain medications (such as medications you may go home with)
• Learning how to care for your baby using medical equipment, such as gastrostomy tubes, tracheostomy tubes and oxygen. Children’s Colorado has dedicated classes or 1-on-1 teaching sessions for NICU families to feel confident in their baby’s care before returning home, including safe sleep advice once you’ve left the hospital.

Make your room your own

If you will be in the NICU or temporary housing for a while, we encourage you to bring items from home to make the space feel more comfortable and familiar. Even if you are staying in temporary housing, you’ll still spend a lot of time in your baby’s room. You might bring items like family photos or decorations, entertainment for yourself, a journal or a favorite pillow or blanket. You are also welcome to bring outfits from home for your baby. It might seem like a small step, but having familiar items around you can be comforting, bring a little piece of home to your baby and help you picture your new baby in it.

Celebrate milestones in the NICU

Your baby might have a lot of their first moments in the NICU: the first time they recognize your voice or your face, their first smile or laugh and even their first blowout. These memories aren’t any less important just because they didn’t happen how or where you expected. Celebrate these moments in any way that feels right for your family. Our NICU team will be right beside you as you celebrate these milestones — helping to dress your baby up for special occasions and holidays, offering footprint milestone certificates and more.

Temporary housing for a NICU stay

We know it can be stressful to travel back and forth to the NICU, especially if you don’t live close by. If it’s an option for your family, see if there is temporary family housing near your baby’s NICU. These facilities provide housing nearby, sometimes at no or low cost to families. Your baby’s NICU may provide resources for temporary housing.

Accept help

We know it can be a lot to juggle as you navigate the transition of adding a new baby to your family while in the NICU with your regular responsibilities. If possible, try to delegate as many tasks as you can to friends and family. Welcoming support can help lighten your load during this time of transition. Some ideas of what ways family or friends can help include:

• Coordinating childcare for siblings
• Checking on pets
• House-sitting
• Preparing meals

Take care of yourself

You can’t care for your baby in the NICU if you don’t care for yourself. We encourage you to protect your mental and physical well-being and do activities that you enjoy. Here are some self-care ideas from our team that may help support you along the way:

• Connect with the NICU’s social workers, who can help provide emotional support and additional resources. Each family at Children’s Colorado receives a dedicated social worker to walk with them through their journey in the NICU.
• Seek mental health support within your NICU or talk to the dedicated NICU chaplain.
• Give yourself permission to take breaks from the NICU, even if it’s just a walk outside.
• Plan regular family activities.
• Exercise when you can or try to get fresh air.
• Eat a balanced diet.

A long NICU stay can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. Ask your care team questions, use the resources available to you and focus on what you can do each day to support your baby and yourself.